During the day,
I called you Daddy,
The man I swam with,
The man I swung with,
The man that taught me how to hike,
How to ride a bike.
I keep recalling how I used to anticipate your return home when the day was done,
And mourn your departure when it was turning dawn,
How I used to wonder what you would bring me on my birthday,
About where you would take me this Sunday.
When mom whipped me,
I remember screaming “Daddy save me”,
Even when I knew my words and your ears could not connect,
Simply because you were probably in another continent,
The funny thing is that even then, you were my superman,
And I was your number one fan,
Racing into your arms as you returned at dusk,
If only I knew then it was only a mask.
To me, you were the perfect father,
But it was only when it hit night that I saw that from the truth, I couldn’t have gone further,
I remember crying on my bed,
As for the first time I heard the harshest words ever said,
My brother standing next to me,
Telling me it would be okay even when I could feel the vibration from his knee,
That day, it was only an argument over his tuition fees,
But it turned out to be the genesis of nights filled with my mother’s pleas.
And just like that, you became the main star of my every nightmare,
My new definition as to why the world wasn’t fair.
I remember hoping that it was not you but some sought of imposter,
That had taken the liberty to play our home’s scariest monster,
Because I knew, my dad wasn’t like this,
I mean, he couldn’t possibly do anything to harm his queen or his princess,
Or could he?
How far fetched from perfect could our family portrait be?
I couldn’t find those answers until one day with my own eyes see,
That the screams that I heard were merely misplaced melody,
To prove to the word that you were not at all bad,
And that you were definitely not the one that made momma sad.
Peeping through the corridor,
It felt like my eyes had turned to some sought of broken door,
Never to be closed,
Leaving my poor heart ready to be robbed.